Work, work, work.

Devin has been working 18 hour+ days all week. We are on day 7 of it(in a row, and yes, I'm attempting church on my own. We'll see how that goes) and I'm starting to get used to the whole single mom thing, minus the part where I feel like pulling my hair out because Ive been talking to babies all day. He leaves before we wake up and doesn't get home until well past bedtime. Even I have a hard time waiting up because it's so late. He has been having crazy hours for the last month or so but this week really just takes the cake. We miss having a dad and a husband around! I've even resorted to taking out the trash myself because he doesn't have time for stuff like that. I always hesitate writing about his schedule because I'm afraid the wrong person will read it and pretty soon I'll have a serial killer crawling through my window. I joked about that one night to Devin and he got all serious, pulled out the gun and made me practice loading it, LOL. So forewarning to creepos...I'm armed, and have really good hearing in the middle of the night(chances are I'm actually already awake with screaming kids) so don't even bother trying to sneak in over here. :)

No really though, this schedule has been hard on all of us. I feel bad for Devin because the guy has no life outside of work. He's a sleeptalker and every night he'll randomly start talking about work stuff in his sleep so even when he's not there, he's still thinking about it. He has a lot of responsibility there and I think it weighs on him. And then there's the rest of us...the kids miss him a lot and while I try to have a routine for them, it gets thrown off by the schedule. If Devin is going to try and make it home earlier than usual, I'll let the kids stay up to see him, and a lot of times, his "early" time ends up being 10:00 at night and by then the kids are crazy and I'm totally frazzled.

I just think that long hours are hard on families/marriages. Devin has been busy at work for a long time now and I keep thinking it's going to get easier but it just doesn't. We were talking last night and I told him that it's started to get to the point where we don't really even function as a team anymore...that we don't really  need each other like we used to. I used to rely on him for so much. Lift that heavy box, please? Take out the trash, will you? Or how about taking the dang christmas lights down(yes they are still up)? Now I do that stuff. And it's the same for him. All he needs is clean clothes for work and that's it from me. He's not here to cook dinner for and all of the other things that he used to need me for. Anyway, we've become two seperate people, functioning on two completely different levels if that makes any sense. And I don't really think that's healthy. Don't worry, the marriage is fine, but I just wish that we had a little more time together to grow as a family, you know? I wish that we needed each other more, that we could do more to serve each other and ultimately grow closer.  We miss talking to each other...he can't talk at work at all so we'll go a whole week without having any conversation other than, is the laundry clean and did you get something to eat tonight? I look forward to the day that his schedule is a little more consistent.

I should probably stop whining now, haha. Life is good and I have a lot to be thankful for(like a job). I just want my blog to accurately portray our life at the moment and I don't want to pretend like things are all flowers and pixie dust over here:)

**In the middle of the week we were able to take dinner out to the guys and visit for a few minutes. We stayed and watched him from the car for a while too(it was freezing and too dangerous for kids to be running around). The kids thought it was soo cool to see their dad put up the "big giant light bulbs"(Hadleys words). And my mom was nice enough to watch the kids last night while we went to a late dinner because he got off work earlier than expected. We needed that, so thanks mom! I guess things aren't all bad:)