I have been having a lot of blog debates in my head lately. For some unknown reason, people read this blog, and it's getting a lot more traffic that it used to. Not that it's like record amounts or anything, I don't want to make this a bigger deal than it is, but it's a lot for me. 500-1,000 people that I don't exactly know are reading this everyday, and that seriously blows me away. Why?!? I'm just a mom with really, REALLY crazy kids! Nothing glamorous.
So anyway, I'm super flattered and amazed and overwhelmed by how nice everyone is, but at the same time, I'm at a real crossroads with it. Everyone says it's a good thing that it's growing, but is it? I can't help but worry. That's what I do-I worry. About everything. But blogging has never been a big deal for me. I just write it how I see it and that's that. Lately though I can't help but have a little concern about who the audience is and what people are thinking when they read it.
I'm also feeling a lot more pressure than I used to, like if I go a few days without posting-which I've been doing a lot lately-then I need to hurry and get something up. If you know me you know that I used to post almost everyday and it seriously was so easy, but lately I just feel like I'm being forced and I hate that. I don't know what to do to get back to where I was.
I'm also feeling a lot more pressure than I used to, like if I go a few days without posting-which I've been doing a lot lately-then I need to hurry and get something up. If you know me you know that I used to post almost everyday and it seriously was so easy, but lately I just feel like I'm being forced and I hate that. I don't know what to do to get back to where I was.
And then there's the issue of censorship. I feel this constant need to censor what I put up and I second guess everything. I just posted about my kids in the bath tub and even though the pictures aren't revealing anything other than arms and bubbles and cute baby boy bellies, after it was up I thought, "maybe I should take that one down..." The internet is a big place, much bigger than I realized and I'm learning that things spread so quickly and there's no stopping it. It makes me a little nervous! I'm constantly worried that my "free spirited-ness" style of parenting will be misinterpreted and one of these days CPS will come knocking on my door because of it. My kids do crazy stuff and I'm pretty open about it all but now I feel like I need to be more careful about how I word things, and what I say/don't say, and it's really just putting a damper on my style:)
I just don't really know what to do. On the one hand, I don't mind that my blog is growing-it's kind of exciting and I've met a lot of really great people through it...and I've started doing a little graphic design for people on the side(aka at midnight when everyone is asleep:) which is some fun little income on the side-and that's all thanks to the people reading it. I just don't know what to do with the growth or how to get the fun back into blogging and not worry so much. I don't really like the idea of starting a new, separate blog for just family stuff because that's kind of the whole point of this blog, you know? And I don't want to go completely private, that's too far on the opposite end of the spectrum for me.
I'm also afraid of the blog critics of the world because they can be very cruel and mean and I just know that it is inevitable to be judged. I guess I'm really just afraid of success and what to even do with that. That sounds ridiculous, but it's true. It's just not my personality to be all "hey, look at me!" and all of that, and I worry that it might be misinterpreted as that(although why someone would think I'm trying to show off by writing about the terribly embarrassing thigs my kids do to me is beyond me:) I don't ever post things on here to boast or try to make myself look better-that would just be weird...and I hope that people know that this blog is my real life and nothing more.
I know, I have a while before(or if ever) my blog really goes viral but it's starting to grow so quickly that I was completely unprepared for it, and now I'm at a crossroads. Dilemma! Maybe this whole thing will just blow over and I'l have worried for nothing:)
Really though, what would you do if you were me?
Really though, what would you do if you were me?
5 comments:
Tough, tough call!! My entire family went nuts when I started a blog. They said that stalkers were going to come out of the woodwork and know exactly where I live because of a certain brick or tree, or blade of grass. I told them they were paranoid! But. If ever something did happen, I wouldn't be able to say I've been warned. So I'm careful what I put on.. and I think you are too. I have no idea where you live or what you do. All I know is that you take good care of your crazy cute kids. And while they give you headaches, they make you smile. And your stories make all of us smile. So I hope you keep blogging. But most important is you enjoying it. I've been posting a loooot less lately because of the pressure, even though I WANT to post more. The pressure lessens the fun for some reason. I don't get it!! ha ha Oh well... if you figure it out, keep us posted! Or not. :P
I think people can relate to your blog that's why they read it. You are real and we all want to be reminded that somebody else lives in a mad house sometimes too :-) It sucks that you have to try to censor yourself, I wish there aren't bad people out there. I went private because I was just too stressed thinking about it, so I almost feel bad encouraging you to keep it going haha I think as long as you aren't specific about places and times you are pretty safe, but I do see your worries. ughhhhh I don't know Darci! Think on it. Oh and can we please hang out someday?!
I love your blog. And people are reading it, because you are being featured for your amazing make overs on other blogs. In fact, you are the reason I posted about honking at my own child and a mural drawn on the wall. Is there any way that you can make certain posts private? I don't know if you can do that through blogger or not. Maybe if you have to, use a host that will allow that, then you can privatize the one's the whole world doesn't need to see. That's what I've done, and it lessens the stress of putting things on my blog such as bath tub pictures.
I am one of the strangers that reads your blog and thought it might be nice to hear from someone you don't know about it. (We have mutual friends and I think you might of been in my ward once upon a time, so I'm not a total random!)Anyway, I am a young mom and have 3 kids 3 and under. I can relate to the craziness that is motherhood. It makes me feel good knowing that I'm not alone. Lets face it- even with playdates, park days and activities every week, my main communication all day every day, is with toddlers. Not to mention that it's amazing to me how you are not only a good mom but you still have energy to can food and re do furniture and such. I'm not pushing for you to keep blogging because you need to do what is best for you and your family and it should be fun with no pressure but I do enjoy reading it, thanks for at least blogging this far!
Hi Darci!! I am Courtney's little sister, and I love your blog! It's so fun to see your cute family, and I love how real your blog is. Definitely don't go private, I would be so sad :)
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